BBC Issues Unprecedented Recall of Ricky Gervais’s Entire Catalogue After Shocking Discovery: He Was Just Being a Prick All Along

LONDON

In a move that has sent shockwaves through the world of "edgy" comedy and forced millions to re-evaluate their intelligence, the BBC today announced the complete and immediate recall of every single piece of content ever produced by comedian Ricky Gervais. The unprecedented decision comes after a groundbreaking internal review reportedly uncovered a devastating truth: Gervais was never, in fact, being "ironic," "tongue-in-cheek," or "subversively deconstructing prejudice." He was, it transpires, simply making fun of women, dwarves, Black people, and gay people. Directly.

"We had always operated under the assumption of meta-irony," stated a visibly flustered Prudence Waddington, BBC Head of Light Entertainment, during a hastily arranged press conference. "Apparently, we confused his sustained sneering with deep intellectual commentary. The moment we realised he was just listing marginalised groups and doing the voice—it was like realising 'The Office' wasn't a mockumentary, but just footage of a genuinely awful man. We’re deeply, deeply embarrassed."

One example is this scene from episode 1 of The Office (2001), which features a man called Sanj (played by Phaldut Sharma).

David Brent: This is Sanj, this guy does the best Ali G impersonation, Aiiieee. I can't do it, go on, do it
Sanj: I don't, must be someone else
David Brent: Oh, sorry, it's the other one...
Sanj: The other what... P@ki?
David Brent: Ah, that's racist.

Praised for being funny, viewers will notice that Sanj is only in this one scene and never appears again in the show. Now, THAT'S racist.

The recall affects everything from The Office to Extras and his (fucking awful) stand-up specials, which sources confirm are being melted down to create tiny cubes of anti-comedy which can destroy any hint of humour for an 8-yard radius. These will be placed in charity shops around the country to stop people laughing at the strange people who volunteer there.

The Daily Mail Debacle: A Walkout for the Ages

The dam of perceived irony truly burst during a recent, ill-fated interview with The Daily Mail. Veteran journalist Penelope 'Penny' Fairfax-Smythe, known for her stoic demeanour even when interrogating despots, reportedly walked out in disgust. The moment that triggered her departure? Gervais, attempting to defend his oeuvre, leaned in and whispered, "Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right." One of the few times the colossal prick actually said something interesting.

Fairfax-Smythe, according to eyewitnesses, responded, "I've interviewed Putin, and even he had better manners," before promptly exiting, leaving Gervais to ponder his "genius" to an empty room and a bewildered intern.

"We Never Liked The Prick": Gervais's Own People Speak Out

Adding insult to injury, Gervais's usually tight-lipped PR team issued a statement that was less a damage control exercise and more a gleeful assassination. "We never liked the prick," the statement began, pulling precisely zero punches. "Never understood why people thought he was clever or being ironic. He was, is and always will be just a massive bigoted racist prick who laughs at sp****cs."

An anonymous former colleague chimed in, "He kept saying the quiet part out loud. We just thought he was subversively deconstructing prejudice. Turns out, he was just being prejudiced. It's embarrassing, really. We've replaced all his specials with reruns of 'Mrs. Brown’s Boys'—at least that show knows it's an unapologetic, unsophisticated mess."

The Future: Less Gervais, More... Something Else

The entire 'Catalogue of Cruelty' has been moved from the Comedy section to 'Unlicensed Ethnography and General Nastiness'. Furthermore, the BBC announced that proceeds from the estimated millions of recalled DVDs will be used to fund a new BBC bursary for genuinely thoughtful comedians. The fund will be called the 'Not-A-Total-Prick' scholarship, and applicants will be rigorously vetted for any hint of actual bigotry disguised as "observational humour."

While the whole catalogue has been torched, the show facing the harshest condemnation is After Life. Critics now argue the series was not a moving commentary on grief, but "the narcissistic fantasy of an overpaid, untalented man with no filter and free rein."

"Our deep internal review has uncovered that the premise wasn't about finding kindness; it was about an obnoxious man realising his millions could simply buy his way out of every emotional inconvenience," explained Prudence Waddington. "The scene where he throws cash at a man so he can buy enough drugs to self-terminate? Not a profound exploration of complex ethics, as we first thought. Just the casually cruel action of a multi-millionaire who thinks money can fix genuine human despair."

When asked for further comment, a spokesperson for Gervais simply stated, "He's currently in a dark room, contemplating whether his cat still loves him, and crafting a new hour of material about how cancel culture is ruining everything, which we fully expect to be cancelled by dawn."