SUMMIT HAILED AS SUCCESS; TRUMP LEAVES JAPAN WITH SACRED PUTTER, NOBEL NOD
A "masterclass in targeted adulation," The Sycophantic Presidential Golden Shower.
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Recipe For Disaster
Take one dictatorship posing as a democracy
Slow roast until the heart is black and the meat is thirsty
Add two or three cracked liberalists
Whisk together with million dollar missiles
Pour in a few hundred thousand dead soldiers
And a good pinch of murdered women and children
Let it
White House Press Sec's 'Your Mom Did' Threatens World Order; Budapest Summit Now Contingent on Parental Approval
Due to the "Your Mom" remark, officials are now seeking to get parental confirmation for all upcoming Trump-y shit shows.
BBC Issues Unprecedented Recall of Ricky Gervais’s Entire Catalogue After Shocking Discovery: He Was Just Being a Prick All Along
BBC investigation uncovers the comedian isn't "meta", he's just a prick. Gervais fans quickly do a double-turn and pretend they never liked him.
TECH TYCOON TRADES TESLAS FOR TITILLATION IN ROBOTIC REBOOT
Elon Musk has reportedly announced plans to acquire “the most advanced piece of penetrative machinery mankind has ever engineered” — a pneumatic sex robot
Kent Seaside Residents Rejoice as Cyclone Changes Course for Pas-Ici-sur-Mer
Residents of Pett-Neville were cheering and rejoicing as scenes of destruction flooded news channels. The storm made landfall instead in the French resort town of Pas-Ici-sur-Mer.
Massive Prick Splits Western Civilisation in Half
Donald Trump may have a small penis (according to this testimony from Katie Johnson who was raped by Trump on Epstein's private island when she was only 13), but he sure is a massive prick.
We made a video of his prick splitting the White House (and thus