“Smells Like My Arse”: Chris Martin Finds His Base Notes in the Back End
Chris Martin responds to ex-wife Gwyneth Paltrow's "Smells Like My Vagina" candle with his own "Smells Like My Arse"
britishhumour
MUSK UNVEILS ROBOCOCK, OFFERS HORSES TO THE MASSES
Elon Musk—lover, rocket man, alleged horse baron—has once again launched himself into the headlines genitals-first. While Tesla stock yo-yos and his children’s names start to resemble CAPTCHA codes, the Model D promises a future where men can literally fuck machines—and possibly sue them afterward.
BBC Issues Unprecedented Recall of Ricky Gervais’s Entire Catalogue After Shocking Discovery: He Was Just Being a Prick All Along
BBC investigation uncovers the comedian isn't "meta", he's just a prick. Gervais fans quickly do a double-turn and pretend they never liked him.
Kent Seaside Residents Rejoice as Cyclone Changes Course for Pas-Ici-sur-Mer
Residents of Pett-Neville were cheering and rejoicing as scenes of destruction flooded news channels. The storm made landfall instead in the French resort town of Pas-Ici-sur-Mer.
Jeremy Clarkson Sacked for Owning a Bicycle
New Dragon's Den - Homeless Edition Announced
UK Government to Replace all CCTV Cameras in London with one "Giant Eye in the Sky"
Giant eye in the sky will hover over london, blocking out the sun but keeping the streets safe, or at least recording crime