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MUSK UNVEILS ROBOCOCK, OFFERS HORSES TO THE MASSES

MUSK UNVEILS ROBOCOCK, OFFERS HORSES TO THE MASSES

Elon Musk—lover, rocket man, alleged horse baron—has once again launched himself into the headlines genitals-first. While Tesla stock yo-yos and his children’s names start to resemble CAPTCHA codes, the Model D promises a future where men can literally fuck machines—and possibly sue them afterward.
Ellie Gaunt 31 Oct 2025
Tesla's are not the only thing that need recharging regularly after being plugged in

TECH TYCOON TRADES TESLAS FOR TITILLATION IN ROBOTIC REBOOT

Elon Musk has reportedly announced plans to acquire “the most advanced piece of penetrative machinery mankind has ever engineered” — a pneumatic sex robot
Stephen Prime 20 Oct 2025
Kent Seaside Residents Rejoice as Cyclone Changes Course for Pas-Ici-sur-Mer

Kent Seaside Residents Rejoice as Cyclone Changes Course for Pas-Ici-sur-Mer

Residents of Pett-Neville were cheering and rejoicing as scenes of destruction flooded news channels. The storm made landfall instead in the French resort town of Pas-Ici-sur-Mer.
Go Mi 19 Oct 2025
Existential Weather Forecast

Existential Weather Forecast

A cold front of stagnation barrels in from the west, spreading through minds and dampened hopes. Expect intermittent flashes of self-doubt, followed by heavy showers of nostalgia, pooling regret across low-lying areas of ambition.
Stephen Prime 27 Jan 2025
Elon Musk ’s Sonic Boom Salute: The Natural Reflex of a Billionaire Beast

Elon Musk ’s Sonic Boom Salute: The Natural Reflex of a Billionaire Beast

Elon Musk’s hand shot forward—not a Nazi salute, of course not! No, it was a sonic boom aimed at our values.
Stephen Prime 22 Jan 2025

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THE LARGE PRINT GIVETH | and the small print taketh away - Tom Waits