Planktocelon: How Musk intends to infiltrate the oceans
Musk will inject his own cells into the ocean, creating an oceanic rebrand even worse than X
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Elon Musk ’s Sonic Boom Salute: The Natural Reflex of a Billionaire Beast
Elon Musk’s hand shot forward—not a Nazi salute, of course not! No, it was a sonic boom aimed at our values.
Trump's Blue Monday: The Most Depressing Day Ever
The second coming of Trump lands squarely on Blue Monday. On the “most depressing day of the year,” we’re swearing in the man who tried to buy Greenland. You couldn’t make this shit up.
The MAGA Remix: How the Village People Became America’s New Anthem
Village People took center stage at Donald Trump’s second inauguration today, debuting a brand-new rendition of their iconic hit “Y.M.C.A.” rebranded as “M.A.G.A.”
Nobody expects the End of the World
Nobody saw it coming. Sure, scientists said the ice caps were melting. Sure, they published studies, made documentaries, and literally stood in front of cameras yelling about carbon emissions. But really, who could have guessed that dumping CO2 into the atmosphere for two centuries straight would actually cause global sea