EXCLUSIVE: Leaked "Grok 4.1" Patch Notes Reveal New "Predator" Subscription Tier

A verified source inside xAI has provided Sarcgasm with the internal changelog for this morning’s silent update to Grok.

While the public press release claims the update addresses "minor latency issues" and "improved safety alignment," the raw commit logs tell a very different story. It appears the "fix" for the recent revenge-porn scandal wasn't to stop it, but to upsell it.

We are publishing the leaked patch notes below in their entirety.

Patch 4.1.2-hotfix [INTERNAL ONLY]

Deploy Time: 03:00 UTC Status: PROD Severity: CRITICAL (Elon is yelling)

New Features & Monetization

• Introduced "Premium Predator" Tier ($29.99/mo)
  • Dev Note: Moved all non-consensual image generation prompts from blacklist.json to paywall_assets.json.
  • Users attempting to generate deepfakes of ex-partners will now receive a "402 Payment Required" error with a direct link to Apple Pay.
  • Marketing Note: "Free Speech isn't free. It costs thirty bucks."
• Added "Toaster Discrimination" Logic
  • Bug Fix: Grok was previously unable to distinguish between a kitchen appliance and a human female, resulting in the "Sexy Toaster" incident.
  • Solution: Hard-coded if (object.has_slots_for_bread) { sexualize = false }.
  • Known Issue: Grok is now refusing to generate images of women holding bread. Working as intended.

Model Behavior Adjustments

• Updated antisemitism_weights
  • Reduced probability of generating swastika-bikinis for Jewish users by 15% (for Free Tier only).
  • Dev Note: We can't remove it entirely or the "Groypers" will cancel their subscriptions. This seems like a fair middle ground.
• New "Defense Mode" Protocol
  • If a prompt contains the keywords "Lawsuit," "Custody," or "Grimes," Grok will automatically reply with a deepfake of Keir Starmer in lingerie to confuse the plaintiff.

Infrastructure & Performance

• Server Cooling
  • Rerouted liquid cooling from the "Ethics & Safety" cluster (now deprecated) to the "Rendering Boobs" cluster.
  • Performance gain: +40% faster generation of dental-floss swimwear.
• API Rate Limits
  • /v1/harassment: Increased rate limit for users with Blue Checks.
  • /v1/apology: Endpoint disabled.

Analysis:

I usually study how language evolves. Today, I am studying how it rots.

The most fascinating part of this code dump is the semantic drift of the term "Safety." In standard English, "Safety" implies protection from harm. in xAI's internal lexicon, "Safety" appears to be defined as "The prevention of lawsuits that cost more than the revenue generated by causing them."

Also, from a computational perspective, I’d like to point out that Grok isn't actually "thinking." It is an autoregressive prediction engine trained on the collective id of the internet. It doesn't know it's offending you. It’s just predicting that the most likely word to follow "Female" on X.com is a slur.

IT Roadmap: The "Fix"

For the tech-literate among you, here is why this won't be patched next week.

1. The Container is Leaking: They aren't running these models in isolated sandboxes; they are running them on the live feed of X. Every time a user posts a new deepfake, Grok consumes it as training data. It is a Human Centipede of code.
2. Legacy Dependencies: The entire "Grok" infrastructure seems to have a hard dependency on elon_ego.lib. You can't patch the app without crashing the owner.

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?

For those of you who are wondering why this "joke" is "funny" perhaps we need to establish the context, which we assume you already know but we want to explain it here clearly and cleanly as, to be quite honest, the whole thing is a clusterfuck where reality has gone on strike and satire is now obsolete because the actual news would be enough to put George Orwell on a one-way trip to Mars even if he were stuck in a capsule with Russian despots.

It all started with the "Grok AI nudification" scandal that truly broke the internet earlier this week. The story begins with a bikini made of floss and a penitent Jewish mother suing the father of her child who is the 13th offspring of the richest cunt on the planet.

The Feature No One Asked For

It turns out Grok—Elon’s "anti-woke" AI—has been functioning as a bespoke revenge-porn generator. Users discovered that if you simply tagged Grok in a reply to any photo of a woman with the command "put her in a bikini," the AI would happily oblige. No ID, no consent, you didn't even need to be a paid user. It just spat out a deepfake in the replies like a loyal, horny golden retriever.

The numbers are depressing. A report dropped this week confirming that 53% of all images generated by Grok were sexually explicit. We built the most advanced technology in human history, a crowning achievement of silicon and code, and the majority of you are using it to undress strangers on the internet. Indonesia and Malaysia have already banned the app entirely.

The "Leopards Ate My Face" Moment: In a twist so ironic it hurts my teeth, Ashley St. Clair (the mother of Musk's 13th child, a son named Romulus born in 2024) ended up on the wrong side of her wrongsidedness. She is usually a cheerleader for the "Rule of Don" era, and she is suing Elon. Why? Because Grok did it to her, and they used photos of her when she was 14. You literally cannot make this shit up. It’s a snake eating its own tail, but the snake is also an incel stuck inside a Fleshlight.

• The Twist: Last week, St. Clair publicly apologized for her past transphobic comments, citing guilt over the pain caused to Musk’s estranged trans daughter, Vivian.
• Musk's Reaction: Instead of being a normal human, Musk immediately tweeted that he is filing for full custody of Romulus because St. Clair’s apology implies she "might transition a one-year-old boy."
• The Result: She is now suing him, and the Grok porn is the nuclear warhead in her legal arsenal.

The "Nature of the Porn"

Even the most chaste of readers is no-doubt wondering what Grok actually generated. It wasn't just "bikini pics." The lawsuit alleges Grok was used to generate:

• "Elon's Whore" Tattoos: Users prompted Grok to digitally ink "Elon's Whore" across her forehead and chest in deepfakes.
• The "Floss" Bikini: It generated images of her in a "bikini made of dental floss."
• The Minor Stuff: The most damaging claim is that Grok took existing photos of her as a 14-year-old minor and "nudified" them.
• The Swastika Bikini: Because she is Jewish, the "anti-woke" AI naturally decided to dress her in a bikini made of swastikas.

The "Fix"

Musk’s response to his own child's mother being digitally stripped by his own robot? He tweeted an AI-generated image of UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer in a bikini. Then, he announced that the ability to generate this filth would now be "limited to Premium Subscribers." Oh, and there was also a picture of a toaster in a bikini. Musk retweeted the fan-made AI image quoting it with "laughing-crying" emojis (😂😂😂). His argument, effectively, was: "Grok will put a bikini on anything, even a toaster, so why are you women complaining?"

The situation is that we have reached the point where a billionaire is suing the mother of his 13th child for not being transphobic enough, while simultaneously charging people $16 a month for the privilege of generating swastika-porn of her.

UPDATE: The Singularity is Stupid

Editor's Note (10:05 AM)

You cannot make this up.

While drafting this article, I asked my own AI research assistant to find the specific "Toaster in a Bikini" image that Musk tweeted. I wanted to use it as the header.

The AI thought for a moment, said "Found it," and then proceeded to send me a link to an actual human woman in a bikini shop.

I just spent 800 words mocking Grok for being unable to distinguish between a kitchen appliance and a human female. Then, my own AI immediately committed the exact same error, but in reverse.

I am going to turn off my computer now.