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Trump Accidentally Sends “Dick Pic” to Entire United Nations, Delegates Mistook It for Marine Biology Slide

“the most powerful, most beloved, and most downloaded image in world history,” Reply All Dick-Pic causes unseeable pain.

The Britannia Card™: Nigel Farage Invents a Frequent-Flyer Scheme for the Aristocracy of Tax Evasion

Nigel Farage's latest policy proposal: the “Britannia Card.” A Tax Break for the ultra-rich. His bare-faced lies have nowhere to hide.

72% OF KMFDM FANS STILL THINK NAME MEANS “KILL MOTHER-FUCKING DEPECHE MODE

Depeche Mode respond with a polite statement: “We do not remember asking to be murdered.”

“Smells Like My Arse”: Chris Martin Finds His Base Notes in the Back End

Chris Martin responds to ex-wife Gwyneth Paltrow's "Smells Like My Vagina" candle with his own "Smells Like My Arse"

MUSK UNVEILS ROBOCOCK, OFFERS HORSES TO THE MASSES

Elon Musk—lover, rocket man, alleged horse baron—has once again launched himself into the headlines genitals-first. While Tesla stock yo-yos and his children’s names start to resemble CAPTCHA codes, the Model D promises a future where men can literally fuck machines—and possibly sue them afterward.

TRUMP’S TRUTH FUMES TRIGGER LAWSUIT: AIDE CLAIMS HE DEVELOPED EMPHYSEMA FROM INHALING PRESIDENT’S BULLSHIT

Trump Aide files suit after claims breathing the President's Bullshit gave him emphysema.

SUMMIT HAILED AS SUCCESS; TRUMP LEAVES JAPAN WITH SACRED PUTTER, NOBEL NOD

A "masterclass in targeted adulation," The Sycophantic Presidential Golden Shower.

Recipe For Disaster

Take one dictatorship posing as a democracy Slow roast until the heart is black and the meat is thirsty Add two or three cracked liberalists Whisk together with million dollar missiles Pour in a few hundred thousand dead soldiers And a good pinch of murdered women and children Let it

White House Press Sec's 'Your Mom Did' Threatens World Order; Budapest Summit Now Contingent on Parental Approval

Due to the "Your Mom" remark, officials are now seeking to get parental confirmation for all upcoming Trump-y shit shows.

BBC Issues Unprecedented Recall of Ricky Gervais’s Entire Catalogue After Shocking Discovery: He Was Just Being a Prick All Along

BBC investigation uncovers the comedian isn't "meta", he's just a prick. Gervais fans quickly do a double-turn and pretend they never liked him.

TECH TYCOON TRADES TESLAS FOR TITILLATION IN ROBOTIC REBOOT

Elon Musk has reportedly announced plans to acquire “the most advanced piece of penetrative machinery mankind has ever engineered” — a pneumatic sex robot

Kent Seaside Residents Rejoice as Cyclone Changes Course for Pas-Ici-sur-Mer

Residents of Pett-Neville were cheering and rejoicing as scenes of destruction flooded news channels. The storm made landfall instead in the French resort town of Pas-Ici-sur-Mer.

Massive Prick Splits Western Civilisation in Half

Donald Trump may have a small penis (according to this testimony from Katie Johnson who was raped by Trump on Epstein's private island when she was only 13), but he sure is a massive prick. We made a video of his prick splitting the White House (and thus

Cottingley Fairies Exposed Again by AI Slop

0:00 /0:05 1× Hot off the wings of disappointment: newly “discovered” video footage of the infamous Cottingley Fairies case has surfaced—and it’s somehow worse than the cardboard cutouts from 1917. Yes, dear readers, in an era where AI can allegedly conjure photorealistic dragons and photogenic pizza,