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Kent Seaside Residents Rejoice as Cyclone Changes Course for Pas-Ici-sur-Mer

Kent Seaside Residents Rejoice as Cyclone Changes Course for Pas-Ici-sur-Mer

Residents of Pett-Neville were cheering and rejoicing as scenes of destruction flooded news channels. The storm made landfall instead in the French resort town of Pas-Ici-sur-Mer.

Hate Yourself Even More With BodyShameR™

Hate Yourself Even More With BodyShameR™

Are you even slightly contoured, jiggly, or... normal? Pay a monthly fee for your own personalised self-hate algorithm.

Existential Weather Forecast

Existential Weather Forecast

A cold front of stagnation barrels in from the west, spreading through minds and dampened hopes. Expect intermittent flashes of self-doubt, followed by heavy showers of nostalgia, pooling regret across low-lying areas of ambition.

Planktocelon: How Musk intends to infiltrate the oceans

Planktocelon: How Musk intends to infiltrate the oceans

Musk will inject his own cells into the ocean, creating an oceanic rebrand even worse than X

Elon Musk ’s Sonic Boom Salute: The Natural Reflex of a Billionaire Beast

Elon Musk ’s Sonic Boom Salute: The Natural Reflex of a Billionaire Beast

Elon Musk’s hand shot forward—not a Nazi salute, of course not! No, it was a sonic boom aimed at our values.

The MAGA Remix: How the Village People Became America’s New Anthem

The MAGA Remix: How the Village People Became America’s New Anthem

Village People took center stage at Donald Trump’s second inauguration today, debuting a brand-new rendition of their iconic hit “Y.M.C.A.” rebranded as “M.A.G.A.”

Jeremy Clarkson Sacked for Owning a Bicycle

Jeremy Clarkson Sacked for Owning a Bicycle