Christian Bale Admits to 'Slightly Going Too Far' After Revealing He Murdered Six People to Prepare for American Psycho
Christian Bale goes too far. His method acting cost the lives of an unknown number of people.
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MUSK UNVEILS ROBOCOCK, OFFERS HORSES TO THE MASSES
Elon Musk—lover, rocket man, alleged horse baron—has once again launched himself into the headlines genitals-first. While Tesla stock yo-yos and his children’s names start to resemble CAPTCHA codes, the Model D promises a future where men can literally fuck machines—and possibly sue them afterward.
TECH TYCOON TRADES TESLAS FOR TITILLATION IN ROBOTIC REBOOT
Elon Musk has reportedly announced plans to acquire “the most advanced piece of penetrative machinery mankind has ever engineered” — a pneumatic sex robot
Kent Seaside Residents Rejoice as Cyclone Changes Course for Pas-Ici-sur-Mer
Residents of Pett-Neville were cheering and rejoicing as scenes of destruction flooded news channels. The storm made landfall instead in the French resort town of Pas-Ici-sur-Mer.
Jeremy Clarkson Sacked for Owning a Bicycle
UK Government to Replace all CCTV Cameras in London with one "Giant Eye in the Sky"
Giant eye in the sky will hover over london, blocking out the sun but keeping the streets safe, or at least recording crime