TRUMP’S TRUTH FUMES TRIGGER LAWSUIT: AIDE CLAIMS HE DEVELOPED EMPHYSEMA FROM INHALING PRESIDENT’S BULLSHIT
Trump Aide files suit after claims breathing the President's Bullshit gave him emphysema.
Satire
BBC Issues Unprecedented Recall of Ricky Gervais’s Entire Catalogue After Shocking Discovery: He Was Just Being a Prick All Along
BBC investigation uncovers the comedian isn't "meta", he's just a prick. Gervais fans quickly do a double-turn and pretend they never liked him.
TECH TYCOON TRADES TESLAS FOR TITILLATION IN ROBOTIC REBOOT
Elon Musk has reportedly announced plans to acquire “the most advanced piece of penetrative machinery mankind has ever engineered” — a pneumatic sex robot
Kent Seaside Residents Rejoice as Cyclone Changes Course for Pas-Ici-sur-Mer
Residents of Pett-Neville were cheering and rejoicing as scenes of destruction flooded news channels. The storm made landfall instead in the French resort town of Pas-Ici-sur-Mer.
Existential Weather Forecast
A cold front of stagnation barrels in from the west, spreading through minds and dampened hopes. Expect intermittent flashes of self-doubt, followed by heavy showers of nostalgia, pooling regret across low-lying areas of ambition.
Planktocelon: How Musk intends to infiltrate the oceans
Musk will inject his own cells into the ocean, creating an oceanic rebrand even worse than X
Elon Musk ’s Sonic Boom Salute: The Natural Reflex of a Billionaire Beast
Elon Musk’s hand shot forward—not a Nazi salute, of course not! No, it was a sonic boom aimed at our values.