Elon Musk ’s Sonic Boom Salute: The Natural Reflex of a Billionaire Beast
Elon Musk’s hand shot forward—not a Nazi salute, of course not! No, it was a sonic boom aimed at our values.
Stephen Prime
Trump's Blue Monday: The Most Depressing Day Ever
The second coming of Trump lands squarely on Blue Monday. On the “most depressing day of the year,” we’re swearing in the man who tried to buy Greenland. You couldn’t make this shit up.
The MAGA Remix: How the Village People Became America’s New Anthem
Village People took center stage at Donald Trump’s second inauguration today, debuting a brand-new rendition of their iconic hit “Y.M.C.A.” rebranded as “M.A.G.A.”
Trump Saves Kitten in Heroic Rescuedafuq
In the blaze of America’s most heroic fantasy, there came the tale of Donald Trump and the kitten. Yes, that Donald Trump, the man who once claimed he could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and not lose votes. This time, he was saving the day—and a kitten—from
Trump takes "The Biggest Dump in History"
It started with a tweet, as all great disasters do: “Just took the biggest, most tremendous dump. Doctors are calling it a miracle. Maybe the largest in history! No one’s ever seen anything like it. MAGA!”
The internet exploded. Memes of toilets with golden thrones adorned every social media
Last Oil Factory still winning against the melting ice caps.
Who said global warming would slow down capitalism?
Although the world has found itself mostly underwater, we need heating and air conditioning and automated water bailing units a lot more now than we ever did. When the tides had consumed most of human civilization, one beacon of hope remained: a
Nobody expects the End of the World
Nobody saw it coming. Sure, scientists said the ice caps were melting. Sure, they published studies, made documentaries, and literally stood in front of cameras yelling about carbon emissions. But really, who could have guessed that dumping CO2 into the atmosphere for two centuries straight would actually cause global sea