White House Press Sec's 'Your Mom Did' Threatens World Order; Budapest Summit Now Contingent on Parental Approval
Due to the "Your Mom" remark, officials are now seeking to get parental confirmation for all upcoming Trump-y shit shows.
Fake News
BBC Issues Unprecedented Recall of Ricky Gervais’s Entire Catalogue After Shocking Discovery: He Was Just Being a Prick All Along
BBC investigation uncovers the comedian isn't "meta", he's just a prick. Gervais fans quickly do a double-turn and pretend they never liked him.
TECH TYCOON TRADES TESLAS FOR TITILLATION IN ROBOTIC REBOOT
Elon Musk has reportedly announced plans to acquire “the most advanced piece of penetrative machinery mankind has ever engineered” — a pneumatic sex robot
Kent Seaside Residents Rejoice as Cyclone Changes Course for Pas-Ici-sur-Mer
Residents of Pett-Neville were cheering and rejoicing as scenes of destruction flooded news channels. The storm made landfall instead in the French resort town of Pas-Ici-sur-Mer.
Planktocelon: How Musk intends to infiltrate the oceans
Musk will inject his own cells into the ocean, creating an oceanic rebrand even worse than X
Trump's Blue Monday: The Most Depressing Day Ever
The second coming of Trump lands squarely on Blue Monday. On the “most depressing day of the year,” we’re swearing in the man who tried to buy Greenland. You couldn’t make this shit up.
The MAGA Remix: How the Village People Became America’s New Anthem
Village People took center stage at Donald Trump’s second inauguration today, debuting a brand-new rendition of their iconic hit “Y.M.C.A.” rebranded as “M.A.G.A.”