Christian Bale Admits to 'Slightly Going Too Far' After Revealing He Murdered Six People to Prepare for American Psycho
Christian Bale goes too far. His method acting cost the lives of an unknown number of people.
Fake News
Donald Trump's April Fools Prank Isn't Funny
Donald Trump appeared to finally atone for his sins, from his treatment of women to the ongoing conflict in Iran. But as with everything in the age of Truth Social, the truth was the first casualty.
J.K. Rowling and Graham Linehan Announce Groundbreaking Transition into Human Centipede to Form 'Ultimate Echo Chamber'
J.K. Rowling and Graham Linehan announce joint surgical transition to become a human centipede to Avoid Dissenting Opinions
Duolingo Announces New "Real World" Curriculum Focused Exclusively on Insults, Swearing, and Emotional Devastation
In a bleak pivot, Duolingo is scraping lessons on ordering coffee for "Project Mayhem," a new update focused entirely on teaching proficiency in high-level profanity and cultural slurs. "We’re just democratizing access to being an asshole globally," says the company.
White House Press Sec's 'Your Mom Did' Threatens World Order; Budapest Summit Now Contingent on Parental Approval
Due to the "Your Mom" remark, officials are now seeking to get parental confirmation for all upcoming Trump-y shit shows.
BBC Issues Unprecedented Recall of Ricky Gervais’s Entire Catalogue After Shocking Discovery: He Was Just Being a Prick All Along
BBC investigation uncovers the comedian isn't "meta", he's just a prick. Gervais fans quickly do a double-turn and pretend they never liked him.
TECH TYCOON TRADES TESLAS FOR TITILLATION IN ROBOTIC REBOOT
Elon Musk has reportedly announced plans to acquire “the most advanced piece of penetrative machinery mankind has ever engineered” — a pneumatic sex robot