Lasanum Skibidiense - An Ancient Roman Satire | The Scriptorium Brainrot
Discover how an imperial latrine puppet named Lasanum Skibidiense terrified Emperor Domitian in 95 CE. Read the definitive, translated text of Pliny’s warning.
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Liberté, Égalité, Find Out: France Raids X for Child Safety Crimes and Summons Musk on Hitler’s Birthday
France raids X’s offices for child safety crimes and summons Elon Musk on 4/20—Hitler’s birthday. The "Find Out" phase has begun for the free speech absolutist.
Duolingo Announces New "Real World" Curriculum Focused Exclusively on Insults, Swearing, and Emotional Devastation
In a bleak pivot, Duolingo is scraping lessons on ordering coffee for "Project Mayhem," a new update focused entirely on teaching proficiency in high-level profanity and cultural slurs. "We’re just democratizing access to being an asshole globally," says the company.
72% OF KMFDM FANS STILL THINK NAME MEANS “KILL MOTHER-FUCKING DEPECHE MODE
Depeche Mode respond with a polite statement: “We do not remember asking to be murdered.”
“Smells Like My Arse”: Chris Martin Finds His Base Notes in the Back End
Chris Martin responds to ex-wife Gwyneth Paltrow's "Smells Like My Vagina" candle with his own "Smells Like My Arse"
MUSK UNVEILS ROBOCOCK, OFFERS HORSES TO THE MASSES
Elon Musk—lover, rocket man, alleged horse baron—has once again launched himself into the headlines genitals-first. While Tesla stock yo-yos and his children’s names start to resemble CAPTCHA codes, the Model D promises a future where men can literally fuck machines—and possibly sue them afterward.
BBC Issues Unprecedented Recall of Ricky Gervais’s Entire Catalogue After Shocking Discovery: He Was Just Being a Prick All Along
BBC investigation uncovers the comedian isn't "meta", he's just a prick. Gervais fans quickly do a double-turn and pretend they never liked him.